My new neighbor and I are having a nice conversation. She's animated and smiling as she tells me how much she likes her neighbors in our suburban neighborhood. Then, there's an uncomfortable pause in the conversation.
Did my dog pee on her leg? Has someone passed gas?
No, we've arrived at that topic: why she and her husband moved out of the city. As a twenty-something Rochesterian, she feels the need to justify herself with carefully chosen words. Nothing new here -- they're the same words I've heard from a number of different folks in their 20s and 30s. After this little rough patch, we're back to a friendly conversation, but afterwards our little talk reminded me of a movie I watched on TV the other day.
The Fabulous Baker Boys, a late-80's chestnut, stars Jeff and Beau Bridges as two lounge act pianists. Jeff is the cool brother, and Beau is the nerd. Aside from the natural contrast between Jeff and Beau (hard to believe they have the same mother and father), Beau's character shows that he's a true dork by wearing a toupee, driving a station wagon, being uptight, and, of course, living in the suburbs. In the end, Jeff gets the girl and follows his muse, while Beau retreats to the 'burbs to teach piano lessons to snot-nosed kids. Cinematic justice for the suburb-dweller, especially considering that the girl is Michelle Pfeiffer, playing a hooker with a heart of gold.
The use of "suburbanite" as shorthand for "dullard" predates the Baker Boys, and it's still in force today. But, just as there are very few hookers with hearts of gold, not every suburbanite has undergone a prefrontal lobotomy. Some of the biggest hippies I've ever met live on a cul-de-sac, and some of the dullest people I know live in the heart of the city. Place does not make the person.
In other words, don't believe everything you see in the movies, and stop apologizing for moving to the suburbs.
Comments (5)
However, your choice to move to the suburbs reflects on your own priorities: "safety" above "being able to get a loaf of bread without getting in a car", a backyard over being able to sit on your front porch and chat with your neighbors, quiet over the rumble of busses, and so on. I just don't know if you can be a "true" hipster without being able to bike to Abundance or walk to a library.
I'm sorry. I was raised by hippies, and I hate cars.
Posted by Sam Cole | June 11, 2006 12:54 PM
Posted on June 11, 2006 12:54
I agree that it does say something about your personality, but certainly not the most important, or even the most interesting, things.
Posted by Rottenchester | June 11, 2006 2:01 PM
Posted on June 11, 2006 14:01
Yes and "safety" means being surrounded by a homogeneous racial and social class in the burbs. I think it says a lot about a person actually.
Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2006 4:19 PM
Posted on June 16, 2006 16:19
Well, it's good to know that someone is willing to fight against the stereotypes! Good for you, Rottenchester.
Much though I do love the city ~ enough so that I own a progressive website for Rochester ~ there are just some things for which it is not suitable. Investment property comes to mind, and raising children is the solid-gold biggie. What can you say so someone who left to get thier kid a better education? That they should stay for the sake of principle?
Posted by DragonFlyEye | June 20, 2006 8:10 PM
Posted on June 20, 2006 20:10
lived it, loved it, left it. Sold the S.Wedge house and landed in Brighton.
It's all about the schools, a factor which cancelled out all of the many positives of city living.
Really a tough sell for middle class families - to stay in the city when they have kids.
Solve this problem and Rochester will thrive.
If only it was easy.
Posted by mikros | June 26, 2006 4:05 PM
Posted on June 26, 2006 16:05